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There’s a reason why I felt more encouraged to send those gifts but I’m tired of writing & explaining myself, it’s like a blotch on my character and he has almost tarnished my name, I DONT DO CHEAP FLINGS OR HOOKUPS, I AM YET TO HAVE MY FIRST KISS. God has indeed spoilt me by treating me like princess... He blesses me with all these fancy things (whatever I wish for) to make up for his people!!! :/

The reason why his Gift box is called “Ken Doll Bath Set” is because I’ve always dealt with a lot of envy from ‘materialistic’ people (it’s one of the reasons why I don’t have any friends) and every girl is like “I wanna be Barbie, that b*tch has everything” but every girl I know including Barbie must’ve said this at least once in her life, “I wanna be Zara, that b*tch has everything, always.”

Barbie & Ken end up having a divorce because Ken eventually turns out to be gay (have you seen his buzz cut, man bun & eye liner, also those shaved legs?) so no one should actually take that whole pairing seriously or compare “that guy” as in 501 (born on 5th Jan) with Ken ‘cuz the name of my box indicates nothing more than what I’ll be sharing here...

However, the inspiration behind this gift box was indeed Ken & Barbie’s “Dream” Dollhouse as in their Malibu Beach home and by that I don’t mean cardboard characters enjoying plastic croissants, solid tea & silicone scones... I’ve curated a bunch of vintage-looking, novelty, abstract collectibles/articles such as wooden (precisely ash wood) Bathroom decor pieces/utilities/accessories to give it that much needed charm & surrealism of a quaint little dollhouse.

A day before my 16th birthday, I was sitting alone on a bench at the mall, crying because I knew no one was going to wish me or even attend my party, as always... I didn’t have any “Sweet Sixteen” like other girls, it wasn’t any special until God (or whoever looks over me) stepped in. I remember coming across a sequinned beret few days prior to it, when I saw it online, I thought... it would be very lucky to find something like that, but for my taste, it was a bit too jazzy because the black sequins were very shiny, I preferred a matte black sequinned beret and I knew it was a bit too much to ask for... (It was anyway not available for purchase in India) A few days later, like I said, I was sitting at the mall, tired, broken and teary eyed, no one was gonna show up on my birthday, they kept bailing on me via texts, one by one cause they were busy backbiting, gossiping & making plans to bully me which they succeeded at, their entire group was targeting me due to envy) I was feeling terrible, I was unable to lift myself, it was obviously very hurtful... I didn’t deserve it but then all of sudden, I saw a matte black sequinned beret right next to me on the mannequin, in the window of a nearby shop... it was from Sisley. I found it hard to believe that I got exactly what I was looking for and luckily it was in my budget too! I’ve had MANY such instances to narrate but I can’t share all of them... In 2016, I was looking for a watch, I didn’t have any and my fav one had broken when I was 15, due to family drama/abuse... back then I didn’t have enough money to buy another one. Even at 20, it was hard for me to afford it so I started collecting money. When I was ready with Vitamin M, I had a look at a few watches in the nearby branch of my fav store (Not Rado, that’s way out of my league for now) but I didn’t like any so I designed a perfect watch in my head... you see, I wanted it to glitter but I also didn’t want a lot of bling, bling, I didn’t want the Swarovski Crystals to be centred or scattered over the dial, I just wanted them to surround the edges, I didn’t want all crystals to be silver because that would’ve definitely made it loud, I préfèrred a mix of silver and anthracite gray, I wanted a thick black strap, preferably lamb skin, rose gold finish but not something as tacky as Rolex... hmm, my demands were very exacting and specific, only God could fulfil ‘em right? Back then, I was going through my very first fibromyalgia flare up which was extremely agonising, he didn’t leave a chance to hurt me even back then, the physical and mental throes wore me out but then I came across my dream watch at the Cuffe Parade branch... :) I had gone there to meet someone and when she heard about all these guys, my loneliness, isolated life, she told my mother, “She is so pretty, boys should be lining up for her, I don’t understand what’s wrong with them.” Her opinion mattered a lot because she had a lot of experience, she’d met Madhuri Dixit, SRK and other celebs, they were a part of her clientele list.

Coming to the watch, it was luckily not that expensive (the prices went up later and it ran out of stock, they never replenished that design again)

Like I said, it was fairly priced and it easily slipped into my budget just like it did on my wrist and I was glad I didn’t settle for all those other watches... I finally had what I had created in my mind. I have the pic but I’ll share it later, I can’t post more than 4 here.

Read my above scoop on 501’s gifts..

There’s more, I was looking for a throw for his cosy book/coffee box and I found a seemingly nice one in my budget. The colour was suitable for gifting men, it was grey which looked more like oyster grey in the pic... but as usual, a lot of things are edited these days and they never fail to disappoint you when you see their quality, colour and make in real life... (his gifts had to be perfect since he is very superficial) when it arrived, I was extremely disappointed, it looked like a dull slate grey with brown stitching which also looked kinda cheap, they had no return or refund policy so I had a huge argument with them via mails, the pics were highly photoshopped just like his face... sorry I’m just messing around and kidding, about his looks, not the throw, I don’t know much about him tbh, I can’t recognise him anymore; he is not who I thought he is. They gave up and refunded me my money... this throw was on sale and I knew it was impossible to find another one in my very limited, meagre budget which ranged between ₹999-1200 (only.) I knew I’ll have to spend minimum 2500/- for something in a better quality which was impossible considering the overall cost and expenses... I had lost all hope after this recent disappointing purchase... But then after a while (followed by a crying session) I thought I’ll give it another try probably check out some other places, although I had ran out of options and I’d already browsed every possible store ever... I wanted a soft mink throw with trimmed fur otherwise it would’ve been too furry for a man but something in a neutral shade, probably with a cable knit pattern since I have always been excessively attracted to them but not knitted,

I wanted it. to. be. plush & luxuriously furry but with short-haired faux mink... God are you listening? The combination was impossible but then I saw a beautiful mint green throw, the colour was also quite unique and elusive... it had a cable knit pattern to boast of and if was entirely made out of faux fur mink! I got a Californian King size for 1300 + shipping, so I applied a coupon and wrapped it all up in 1250!

It also came along with an coupon for additional 10% disc on my next purchase... which was like a nice surprise for me!! Anyway it was one of the most fastest selling items on their website, all the colours got sold out very fast even though some were dull and common.

I next wanted a pocket square, Brooke Brothers was way out of my budget, their pocket squares start from 7k and go upto 12k... geez it’s Brooke not “Broke Brothers”; I wanted a better quality, more patterns, designs, something modern, dressy, classy but also minimalistic, something with a smaller logo, their’s was quite loud, garish and huge! I wanted the silk to shine like satin and I wanted it in a beautiful colour, maybe with a hint a of Cappuccino beige to go with my coffee box... and finally, I got it. shhh... it was only for 345/-

I was lucky enough to get the last piece, phew! It was just perfect!! Way better than Van Huesen or Raymond, their fabric was very thin, I doubt it was even real silk, it could be partly polyester... I was obsessed with gingham ones but then I realised they were looking like napkins ‘cuz they only make them in cotton not silk, if anything then they have houndstooth in silk which is closest to gingham! I had almost given up, I thought I’ll give a solid colour but like I said, they were looking worn out and frayed... so I kept looking till my hunt was finally over, I got a well yarned square in pure thick silk which radiated like soft luminous satin whenever pleated or folded, thanks to the colour and make, the edges had proper finishing... there was nothing more I could ask for; it was minimal bit also different, suave, sophisticated and hard to fetch, something that can be dressy as well as classy. It also had a 2 in one pattern in a soft cappuccino beige colour, I... didn’t even have to look up for “beige”, other than that, it’s got a checkered pattern in my favourite pistachio green shade!!!

I wanted a bath brush to go with the birthday kit (its hard to put an assortment for guys, couldn’t think of anything other than grooming) I have always been fascinated by the ones we see in decor editorials and all... but these quaint wooden brushes are not easy to handle, they are usually very heavy & huge, moreover, they’ve got cactus bristles which sting af.

When I tried one of ‘em out of curiosity, it left me with scratches, they are also very huge and intimidating to go around your shoulder & neck... and I didn’t want to pay 1350/- for something like that.

If you ask me, I wanted a medium sized brush with softer non cactus but similar looking natural coloured bristles (like they make for babies, finding something like that for adults is unimaginable, I know) I wanted it to look like a nice handy decor piece in the bath room, I wanted it to have a logo etched in gold to look more like a present, I also wanted the head to be round not oval cuz that’s too common and the next day! Boom!!

I found something exactly like that for 650/- It came nicely sealed with a protective plastic lamination covering the main bristle area, the brush was fresh, hygienic, untried, untouched, straight from the warehouse. It has a round head like I wanted, in Californian ashwood, it’s medium in size, easy to use, it also has natural coloured soft bristles... which aren’t made of prickly cactus! Ouch! Oh and I almost forgot, it has a golden engraving on the handle and it’s also got a golden foil stamp embossed on the tag which makes it a Perfect Birthday Present!!! How could I not be excited? He ruined it all though... I got another matching product btw to complete the set and now I’ve decided to be save all these lucky, magical gifts for my future husband, there’s no need for me to be so altruistic and selfless at 24-25 especially for someone who has left no stone unturned to ruin my name. For the last time, i wasn’t born ugly, he made me ugly. I lost weight, got breakouts and hair fall due to his arrogant, narcissistic, conceited disdainful behaviour! But none of that can make me a psycho creep who’s trying to “talk to him”. Dude I don’t talk or interact with anyone ‘cuz no one’s there for me when I need them, I can’t share a word if something’s bothering me, I have no one for emotional support, they don’t even bother to reply to my SOS texts or calls, they don’t wish me on my birthdays... I‘m well aware of what I have to expect from people, in general. Since I was always alienated and isolated, I know I will continue to die in this grim exile. I don’t care... You’ll easily target loners who are outcasted because they are either too bad or too good! And I am not afraid of dying alone or being a hated all my life by everyone. I don’t care if I die cuz frankly I when did I even existed? I’ll keep writing my (gothic/science fiction/poetry) book, it’s supposed to help people like me who have no one in this world, it’s for those who seek solicitude & refuge from potentially baleful and pathologically toxic strangers... those who would only take advantage of them! I will keep creating because someone once said, “Art is the only way to move forward.” I’m taking a back up of my progress and I have it all stored in a pen drive... if I die before finishing my book, anyone who’s interested in taking the story & study forward can approach my relatives on 9136868029 for whatever I’ve written so far, you’ll have to use your own syntax but trust me, it’ll be worth it. It’s also very contentious btw, I’m writing something about the Devil (not 501 or that guy) I don’t believe in evil forces but considering how diabolical everyone is, you can never say for sure if you’re on his

‘bait list!’

I had once finished writing 3500 words and they got deleted thrice! I wrote the para over and over again for 4 times, I couldn’t even recall what I had written earlier but eventually I came up with something way better...

The day I restarted my book, I saw my own death twice which was followed by some uncanny, creepy coincidences to confirm it.

It could be like a threat from the devil... who knows? I’m writing about 2 convicts who are on the loose, I have come up with a TEST for some health related concern, I’m covering about occult practices, antichrist stuff, etc. I‘m helping mentally ill patients who have no one to understand them, I’m sharing how one can defeat the devil which in the fictitious segment, it’s not philosophical or even spiritual... but rather something interesting.

I don’t know if the devil is real, all I know is my life is already hell.

I have lost everything: time, patience, health, I am at the edge of... nothing, I’m already falling, I have collapsed with all my heart.

But lemme tell you, even if I’m unable to stand up for myself due to the way I look now I will make sure no one else ends up like me.

I know I’ve lost all credibility in this shallow, superficial world where being heard is not enough, you have to open their eyes to make them see the reality of what is being said so that they can believe it even more or your voice is forever lost in chaos & mayhem.

I lost whatever little hope and faith I had in myself because of he is not accepting my gifts then clearly, no one in my league is going to accept me! Now that I‘ve become ugly I’ll have to change lanes right? I always had realistic expectations when came to dating or finding love... I never believed in leagues, pursuits & conquest trophies but then they make you a part of their game & you end up referring to their silly “rulebook”.

Don't take it personally Ken...

I once needed shoes for the gym (2015) and I chose Nike because I love that brand.. what happened is that the ones that I wanted were not available in a comfortable size, I needed something slightly bigger to fit my feet along with socks (proper ankle socks not liners) but they only had one last pair left and all the other sizes were out of stock. My mother asked me if I wanted to compromise on them or if I was ready to wait for another pair that too if they could procure it because they themselves were not sure about the availability in other stores... these were their fastest selling shoes (the line was called Pegasus, after I got them I saw Nargis Fakri sporting the same pair in the same colour that I had chosen) While I was still in a dilemma, my mother said that these too might get sold out if I wait for another pair... there was no guarantee that I would be getting those either but I was ready to take the risk of losing out on both! The next day I got ’em in my size that too at 60% off! Hurray!! They found it in another store and luckily their sale period also started that day!


Both the following incidents remind me of my favourite colour which is Yellow! (L’occitane & Pikachu)

Another Lucky Coincidence...

This is something interesting: So last year, the l’occitane stuff that I ordered for his

b’day came entirely for FREE lol! How? Due to a misprint on the invoice which said PREPAID instead of COD. But then I had to be satyavachand Gandhiji, my mom was like chuck it but I called em up & told them about it. They then sent me a complimentary item for myself (they knew what I had ordered previously was a gift for someone, they sent me a shower gel from their signature line... it was the peony one) and they asked me to pay the dues against the new shipment.

I remembered another story, it’s from my childhood days... I was around 8 when my bro & his frnds were competitively trying to find Pikachu in their cheetos or some other snack, they each placed a bet n decided tht the one who’ll get it first wud become their leader as in they were planning to almost treat him like a deity or something (how silly) Anyway, none of the guys found it in their packets, they spent lots of money on that Cheetos & guess what? My first packet itself had Pikachu in it! The shop owner was also excited, she couldn’t believe it because it was like a big deal back then, a lot of kids from our school were anxiously waiting to find one & they all knew how elusive it was, they eventually assumed that the company wasn’t supplying any packets with that Pikachu toy... at least not in Mumbai, so the owner asked me in sheer disbelief “You got Pikachu?!” Lol! I didn’t know what to do with that toy so I gave it to my mom and she kept it in her purse. Then one day my bro was busy day dreaming about it, he found my mom’s purse (he remembers this story very well) and said to himself, “Who knows, maybe I’ll find that Pikachu here...” and to his surprise! Voilà!! He found it right there... he still believes it was his lucky day, he then boasted about it to all his friends and they started worshipping him 😑

#moodboard Got this Nightsuit for free... don’t ask how, it was a lucky glitch 2k / 27$ waived off! I’m very magnetic when it comes to these things...

#wishes #granted ✨🧿💳 💍🌷

When no one wishes you on your birthday you get gifted by an unknown source✨I had ordered this dress for my b’day but my (COD) order was cancelled due to the lockdown. After that I completely forgot about it, when I needed 3 items I added it along with the nightsuit but I didn’t find anything else.

I had initially added 3 other items & they’d deducted the price of 1 but then I changd my mind so I deleted my cart. I couldn’t pick anything else so I went ahead with only 2 items this time & due to some glitch I got buy 1 get 1 free. As of now they’ve got that offer only on basics...

I have shared the previous day’s offer is below:

Told you, God exists... I was thinking about that guy & the whole birthday fiasco cuz I had a dream about his gifts. I was constantly agonising over it while looking up for flat white sachets & surprising I came across this👇🏻its a message, out of context! P.S. we do get flat white in my own society, there’s a gourmet store in the opp wing (with affordable prices) but I wanted to see the description, review etc.

Twitter: GypsyKatina


Zara Sauleh


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